From the mouths of babes...

I guess I should change the title to ... mouths of BOYS. Now that I have an almost 7yo and Mr 3 is 4 now!!

Again, so many notable things that happen at that moment go on Twitter or Facebook and to me are lost... I really need to keep writing again rather than sift through 17,600+ tweets and endless status updates!

Mr 3: I love you more than chocolate cake with iPhones on top.

You're a bad Mama to yourself but a good Mama to me! (This is when I take them to McD's or something and I say I'm a bad Mom for not cooking them a homemade meal or buying them another Slurpee)

Mr 6-This child-proof lid is really hard to open!

Mr 3: I all done, I don't want to get fat. (Where does this stuff come from!? Not ME! Never.)

Owen is currently starring as 'The Boy Who Cried 'Tooth!'.

"My tooth fell out!" I run over "No it didn't!"

Then "My tooth fall came out eating my apple! Ahhh, no it didn't! My tooth fell out into the bath!"

Really!? Gets Toonie ready..."Yes! Aaahh just joking!"

All day long. I'm pulling it out myself if he tries that tomorrow!

Mr3: You smell like a bunny.

Me: what does a bunny smell like?

Mr3: Chocolate!

Mr 6-cool dudes don't throw garbage

Mr 4-I'm a bad dude

Mr 6-He's gonna be a robber when he grows up.

First day of school, Mr 6 looking in the mirror: You're right Mommy, I do look good!

First day of JK:

-What did you learn today in kindergarten?

-Mr 4-I learned we don't get lunch

Mr 4-Owen says you die when you get old!!!!!!

Mr 6-You realize Grandma is 100 and she's not dead. (Don't tell my Mom!)

Mr 4-I have 2 stomachs. One for food and one for dessert.

Mr 4 as he watched his brother stub his toe on the table: 'Oooh that's gotta hurt'

Mr 6: I call that hockey team the Pipsqeek Penguins.

Me: Why are the lights on dim?

Mr 6: I like to pretend we're eating at a restaurant. They serve good meals here!

Me: You'd better tip your waitress well!

Your 4yo that decides to have a sword fight with the guy on TV… happy. Mom not happy with scratched TV screen!

Random Musings/Things I've learned

First of all can I say HOLY COW it's been a long long while. So much going on always and this space is completely neglected. Funny thing, instead of writing it down now, I Tweet it of make a Facebook status update about funny things that happen. And now you can download a history of Tweets and Facebook status updates... you know... or the grandkids one day! Someone asked if I could start writing again, that they missed my blog. Sweetest comment ever! I have a reader!! :)

I have learned so many things lately... especially with moving house, contractors, renovations etc. Sadly not really funny stuff. Let's keep it light, shall we??

When you need to really get up at a certain time, not just 'before the school bell rings', it's best to set phone alarm & hide across room. Much more effective than it ending up under your pillow or in the hands of a certain 3yo downstairs. Tah dah! Good morning! (Yes I sleep with my Phone. Don't judge)

Never attempt level 3 of a workout video when you are clearly not ready just because you're bored of the instructors level 2 outfit.

Staying up till 3am weeknights makes for a grumpy morning Mama.

Figured out how to make 5lbs feel like 1lb. Do first set with a 10lb one.

Aaahhh the joy of adding random things to my 'To Do' list just so I could cross them off. That's so much fun! Forget cheque for bank, check! Shop without list, check! Not do laundry, check!

Happiness isn't something you chase, it's something you are. Thanks Jane Porter!

If a tree falls in the forest does anybody hear? If you Tweet late at night does anybody read?

And it's late and I have work to do as usual but I posted... that's what counts, right?

Random Musings/Things I've learned

Put on my glasses (apparently my optometrist says I don't need anymore)... O laughed and said I looked weird. I think bookish and smrt!

FYI: Don't fall asleep in bed with heated mattress pad with chocolate chips in your pocket!

I may actually make more mess baking than I do painting... But that's actually debatable.

Let the season of 'driving out of my way on a frigid cold day for full serve gas' begin! Last year it seemed I was filling up a lot. It was because I was only putting in gas till my hands got cold!! Never filled up!!

Discovered 5yo has some awesome headphones and that singing along too loudly wakes sleeping children in the back seat.

Was instructed we don't give Santa skim milk, we don't want him to get skinny. (If only that worked, says girls with fridge full of skim)

Hate when I open the snow covered car and half the snow gets sucked into the car and all over my seat. Is there a name for that?

FYI: Don't pop 4 horse-sized vitamins in your gob and think 'this is the day I'll swallow them with just one big chug of water.'

From the mouths of babes...

O (Mr6): I just pretended to be sick yesterday cause I wanted to go home.

-Hmmm. You may regret telling me that!

E (Mr3)-My tummy says it don't want a carrot, it wants a cookie!

O to E: I know Santa Claus' first name! Nick!

O-How does Superman hide that big cape in his pants? Why is he wearing red girl boots?

-Ummm

O-Arnold the clown started this place, right mommy?

-Um, that would be Ronald.

-Hey, Mr Messy, clean up your toys.

E-I'm not Mr. Messy! I'm Emmett!

O-I'm not going to high school!

-Why!?

I want to get a job!

-Where!?

At the grocery store!

-Why!?

Because I like apples!

O- What was it like in the 70s?

-Um, that's when Mommy was a little girl!

I know! That's why I'm asking. Lots of farms??

Panicking child in the bathroom... quick thinking Mom remembers the blue pancake consumption the last few days!

-It's oookaaay!

E-What da heck!? Dats cool!

O-Did you know ladies really like chocolate? you're a lady, you like it. You wouldn't be a lady if you didn't like it!

O-(BDay boy)-Happy Birthday to me , I'm a hundred and three, I still go to preschool and I miss my Mommy. My Mommy's at work, she fired a jerk, she hired a monkey to do my homework.

O, after taking a bite of his drumstick: that tastes like a dog's butt cheek!

Mr5 wants an iPhone, Mr3 wants an "iPop Touch phone"from Santa.

From the mouths of babes...

5yo: I think I'm part bat. I like the dark.

Out shopping, to 5yo: Do you want to get this today? And maybe one of these?
O--I like how you talk today, Mommy!

Passing skate park this morning, 5yo: Where are all the kids? Me: I guess they're still sleeping. 5yo: Cool kids are LAZY!!

Picking boys up at sitter an 8yo boy says to me "Is Emmett your kid?" Uh, ya. "He's cute. He's even cuter than my brother." Hah. Thanks bud!

Cleaning out the boy's ears.
Me: Digging for gold!
5yo: If you find gold then it's just a booger I stuck in there a long time ago. I want it.
Me: Ew!

5yo: Hey! There's two of you when I cross my eyes!!

5yo: What are you wondering Mommy?
Me: Why?
5yo: Because you look like you were in Wonderland.

5yo: I've changed a lot because I say please and thank you now. (yay)

Watch watch, I'm going to give myself wedgie!

5yo still calls it a 'Demolition dervy'

Me: What would you like for breakfast today?
3yo: I want candy for breakfast!
-How often will he say this and me say no! till he gets it? Persistent!

OH from the other room: Smash! Bang! Crash!
Me: Whaaaat are you doing?!
5yo: Killing an earwig!
Me: Oh, okay. Carry on!

Discussing what we are thankful for, 5yo: Thankful for my eyes, my head and my boogers... and you.
Um, thanks!

Random Musings/Things I've learned

• I've learned if you claim to have a blog you should make time to update it. Staying up till all hours working is no excuse! Sorry to the thousands of readers and my fans. (Haha. Hello you!)

• A little sad that dressing funky retro 80's is fully for costume purposes only... yes, I still have my Howard Jones and Frankie Goes To Hollywood square pins!

• 5 yr-old said that I should just put a mini fridge in his room so he can get his own juice in the morning & let me sleep. I am clearly raising brilliant children!

• I sometimes wish I could take out my eyeballs and give them a good massage and invigorating bath of some sort.

• Cleaning a bottle of purple nail polish off bathroom floor is not as fun as it sounds!!

• Hard boiled eggs are a lot easier to clean up off the floor than regular ones... I'm taking a wild guess there.

• It's really hard to use a pencil sharpener after applying hand cream... must invest in electric sharpener.

• Tried the Dragon dictation App for my phone.
1st speaking test: "I think that it is a lovely day."
It typed up: I think they live in Milan freezing. (I'm just happy it was FREE!)

• Why do I feel the need to use the reusable bags from a particular store when I go there? I go to a few different ones and have 18 bags last time I checked!!

• Tip: When doing a kettle-bell exercise where there is swinging of weighs involved, do not do in front of TV... and hold on tight!

• I've learned that you have to watch your 3 yr-old or else he can accidentally pull down your top and flash your entire family if you're not careful. Egads!

Random Musings/Things I've learned

• If you're going away for four days of big fun with bloggers, tweeters, events, parties, shopping, bright lights and the big city of NYC to an event called BlogHer, you should really UPDATE your blog. Welcome....

• Try not get menthol in your eye when driving! Blind!

• Tip o the day: when standing on blue box reaching overhead digging out wet crap from eaves, don't wear a v-neck shirt.

• Maggots are disgusting. That is all.

• Why is it when I use my 'not happy angry voice' at my boys, they just laugh at me?! Kinda hard to keep a 'mad face'.

• Never attempt level 3 of a workout video when you are clearly not ready just because you're bored of the instructors level 2 outfit.

• Discovered the joy of adding random things to 'To Do' list just so I could cross them off. That's so much fun! Forget cheque for bank, check! Shop without list, check! Not do laundry, check!

• Still waiting for my dream job to be posted: Coffee swilling Tweeter, work@home, must post about random stuff for excellent pay & benefits.

• Ikea ruler paper cut + antibacterial gel = ohemgee painful!

• Giving up on a 2yo and hoping he'll just go back to sleep may result in finding him sleeping on stairs. In the dark.

• Still love that kids believe me that the brown Whole Grain Cheerios are chocolate. It's like Santa Claus, right? One day I'll be in big trouble.

• I actually spill coffee almost everyday. On myself, the carpet or on my desk. I am skilled that way.

• A real friend send a text to remind you to get duty-free vodka at the border.

• Life isn't always fair, but it's still good.